Aegir’s Rantings

I haven’t blogged in a while. Actually, to be rather honest, I haven’t done a lot of anything in a while. I might say that I’m concentrating on the North American Buildings Set, before turning my attention to the Japan Set and my station sets I’m working on. But to be truthful, I have a gander at the NFO every now and again, do a few lines worth of changes, and then I don’t touch it again for months on end.

I bought a bike not too long ago, nearly $1400 worth of mountain bike from hell. And you know what? I don’t think I’ve ridden it more than a few times since I got it. I spent around $2000 on my new desktop computer - all of my coding works were postponed until I built it. With its dual widescreen monitors I was supposed to work through my projects at lightning pace. You know what? I did a reformat a few days ago and have been so shat off that I’ve just left it and haven’t touched it in days.

I bought a $1300 digital SLR and a cheap $700 seccond hand IBM Thinkpad X31, and you know what? That’s where all my attention has been lately.

To be quite honest, the things that are keeping me tethered at home are pissing me off the most. My bedroom is a disaster zone at the moment, I have nice new furniture I bought recently, I thought it would make home a nicer place to be, but my room is already a bomb-site.

Not quite sure how to phrase it, but I’m getting sick to fucking death of living at home with my parents. I come home from work, from working full weeks - not part time, and I’m exhausted, I’m barely sat down for fifteen minutes and I’m badgered with this, or I’m badgered with that. When I’m not, I’m huddled over my computer doing something completely inane. I’m somehow spending entire days bouncing between TT-Forums, Google Reader, my email, IRC, and then occasionally playing BF2. I’ve been managing to waste away entire days. I’m taking a week of paid annual leave, and so far it’s wednesday and I’ve done absolutely eff all.

I haven’t been doing any staff/fire twirling in ages either. I was recently invited out to a local event and I fluffed off on it and sat on my arse for the night. Now, okay, I am recovering from a nasty bug that’s flying around, had my flat on my arse all week at tradeschool (That’s likely another module that I’ve failed, but ohwell). But it still shats me off that I’ve been lounging around for so long doing sweet naff all.

Now, as for my projects? No, they’re not abandoned and they aren’t up for grabs. I’m getting sick of the pointing and hinting to the matter. Would you go up to someone who shares a hobby you do and ask them to give you one of their works because they’re too burnt out/busy to finish it? No? Same applies here. Despite being burnt out and shagged off at the world, the projects I work on mean a lot to me, they are things I’ve invested, in cases, well over a years worth of work. I’m not throwing them away for some set ‘leader’ who thinks they have any right to authority over me and my work. Krtaylor, I’m looking at you. Leave me alone.

I’ve been more annoyed lately, because I know roughly what I need to do to pull myself out of this hole I’ve dug myself, yet I can’t quite bring myself to actually do it. This hole I’ve dug myself applies to so many aspects of my life; dating, recreation, organization/management, work, online, you name it.

So yeah, if I seem a little, eh, lazy, then yeah, theres a reason behind that. Just bear with me for a bit while I sort myself out.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 8th, 2007 at 11:40 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.